


The Enigma of River Song

by dragonwings948



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Darillium, Disguise, Friendship, Multiple Doctors (Doctor Who), Police Officer Yasmin Khan, Reunions, i honestly have no idea how to tag this fic, river gets arrested, then yaz starts asking a million questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 04:04:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17399714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948
Summary: When Yaz arrests a criminal who starts talking about the Doctor, she decides to call the Doctor in. However, Yaz isn't sure why the Doctor is being so cryptic about who the criminal is, and things get even weirder when a stranger walks in who seems familiar somehow.





	The Enigma of River Song

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Tumblr in response to the prompt of "13th Doctor, River Song, handcuffs." This story, which I know is totally not what the person was thinking, was the first thing that popped into my head, and now I'm actually considering making a longer story with it! (But not until I finish the story I already have going!)

            “You were right to call me, Yaz,” the Doctor said, staring unblinking into the cell as if she was seeing a ghost.

            “So you do know her?” Yaz asked, following the Doctor’s gaze. The newly arrested housebreaker and thief sat cuffed to a chair, the view of her face obstructed by a head of thick blonde curls. “Is she an alien?”

            Instead of answering either question, the Doctor asked one of her own: “Why is she still handcuffed?”

            Yaz sighed. “She knocked out two officers, and kissed another one. Twice. Tried to use some kind of device too, it sounded a bit like your screwdriver.”

            The Doctor seemed unconcerned, but just continued gawking. Yaz waited for an explanation, but the Doctor fired off another question instead.

            “Did you find anything on her?”

            Yaz huffed a sarcastic chuckle. “The question should be what we _didn’t_ find on her. A gun, a couple other handheld things we didn’t understand—”

            The Doctor shook her head. “Anything on her wrist? Something brown, has a keypad?”

            “No, nothing like that.”

            The Doctor sighed. “That means he’s probably here too.”

            “Who?” Yaz asked, trying to meet her eyes. She didn’t like it when the Doctor was cryptic. However, the single answer she got made everything even more confusing:   
            “Me.”

            “Hello!”

            Yaz watched the Doctor physically freeze. She wasn’t sure if she had ever seen her react to anything like that before. The Doctor turned with wide eyes, as if she already knew what she was going to see. Yaz spun with her and saw no cause for alarm, only another police officer with a short shock of curly grey hair and piercing blue eyes.

            “Yasmin, isn’t it?” the officer said to Yaz. “I’ve come to relieve you for now. They’ve got another assignment for you; I’ll take care of her.” He nodded at the woman in the cell, then pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to Yaz. Yaz blinked at it; both because it was an identification badge that read “President of the World” and because the wallet it was in looked like the Doctor’s psychic paper.

            Beside Yaz, the Doctor slapped her hand to her face. The old man turned to the Doctor as if just noticing she was there. His eyebrows furrowed together. “Who are you?”

            “Yasmin’s assistant!” The Doctor recovered with a grin and sidled up to Yaz. “Just helping out where I can.” Her gaze narrowed a bit and her voice took on a dangerous edge. “And in the spirit of helping, I need you to make sure that you guard this prisoner very well, or else somebody might blame Yaz, and I won’t let that happen. _Do you understand?”_

            The officer’s frown deepened, emphasising his wrinkles. “Yes…” he murmured. “I think I do.”

            They stared at each other for a minute, and Yaz was officially weirded out. It was almost as if they were wordlessly communicating.

            “Darillium?” the Doctor asked.

            “First week,” the man replied, a smile twitching at his lips. His gaze flicked to the cell where the prisoner sat. “Do you…?”

            The Doctor seemed to hesitate, but then shook her head decidedly. “Your time, not mine.”

            The man sighed, his lips pressing into a thin line. His expression suddenly exuded sorrow and sympathy. “I’m sorry.”

            The Doctor remained cheerful and smiled. “I’ll see her again. We always do.” She stepped forward and squeezed his shoulder, leaning on her toes as if trying to compensate for the height difference. “Good luck. You’re going to need it.”

            The man’s eyes widened. “Should I be worried?”

            The Doctor laughed. “You should know by now that you should always be worried when it comes to River Song.” She patted his shoulder. “Remember. No blame on Yaz.”

            The man nodded. “Got it.”

            And with that, the Doctor began walking away. Yaz’s mind was still in a muddle of confusion. She looked at the Doctor, then back at the officer who she was starting to think wasn’t really an officer.

            “Er…better follow her.” He pointed his thumb back over his shoulder.

            Yaz agreed, but paused as she took a step. “I didn’t get your name, Officer…”

            He seemed to try to contain a smile, as if reveling in some sort of joke. “Not Officer.” He met her gaze, and his eyes suddenly seemed very familiar. “Doctor.”

            And then Yaz felt herself being dragged out of the room by the Doctor as the man smiled after her. It took a moment for her to find her voice. “Doctor, was that…?”

            “Yes. And no, you don’t want to know. It involves my wife and an old Egyptian curse that we traced all the way from—”

            Yaz planted her feet, forcing the Doctor to turn and face her. “Your _what?”_


End file.
